Often I thought deeply about the meaning of life but rarely found even a
vague answer to that fundamental question.
What one achieves during a lifetime apart from the satisfaction or
dissatisfaction that life brings? What he truly takes away with him
apart from the good thinking about him by the fellow human beings? My
quest for an answer limited by my own small intelligence and limited
knowledge reached nowhere.
Somewhere between
evolution theory and
intelligent design theory, lies birth of humanity. Also somewhere
between belief in God and atheism lives the almighty. Answers elude
individuals to the tune of great thinkers and their profound
thinking remained short of answers.
My brothers pursuit has been God, we fervently asked that same God to
change his mind and finally, he won. God he had been pursuing deserted a
desperate family!
One fine day
in 2006, my brother, a reporter with the New Indian Express, Calicut, at
the time, broken news that he is leaving home forever in search of God
and to serve.
My elder
brother-in-law who heard his intentions shell shocked immediately
started his efforts to change his mind. "I want
to leave home in pursuit of God and to serve people" was his assertion.
Hearing that news days later, when I went back to
India, I didn't know what hit me. But what hit me continues to pain me
deeply to this day.
Leaving us
aghast and in deep pain, he left home soon later as per his announcement
upsetting all our attempts to quell his desire for God and to desire us;
his mother, sisters, brother, and rest of the extended family and
friends.
I started writing down the story the month he left in 2006 but never
knew how I will bring out something so intimate, so deeply distressing.
But finally now, I summon the courage to publish that story, shell it
all out, which I hope will give some relief to my
wounded soul.
Next:
A
house shattered.
